Multiple Things

The things you do when you are attempting to ignore reality.

This post is a multi-parter, I’ve been up to some interesting things recently¹, presented in no good chronological order²;

Mask Things.

My son and a friend came home from school a couple of weeks ago saying that they needed to make papier mache masks for a Macbeth production that were doing in drama. Although it had been a long time since I’d had to do anything like that, I showed them how to make papier mache and we set about covering balloons and making a mess.

I decided it might be fun to get my daughter to art direct the example mask I made to show them how it was done. This may have been a mistake³.

This mask needed a sharp nose, emotionless eyes and neutral mouth. The teeth were made from the packaging for an Apple Pencil, the eyes were some polystyrene balls that were in a drawer and the red tissue paper came with some flowers that someone gave my wife⁴.

I’m pretty sure this mask is haunted, or holds the power to possess people, as when anyone wears it, they fall completely silent and let me tell you from experience, it is unsettling⁵.

Given the “success’” of the red mask, we decided to make another. A little backstory on this one; about this time last year we were on a family outing and saw a goat⁶. I asked my daughter what a good goat name would be, and after a moment’s pause she replied ‘Alan Ramlam’. I know I’m biased, but that’s the best goat name I’ve ever heard⁷. Try bleating it out loud in a goat voice and you’ll see what I mean.

For her birthday that year I drew her a card from Alan Ramlam;

So we decided to make an Alam Ramlam mask as well.

While not quite as infused with quite the same ugly spirit⁸ as the red mask, Alan Ramlam also seems to saturate the wearer with a deep mischief.

Boat Things

Yeah, yeah, yeah I like boats alright⁹. I picked up a real cheap kayak from eBay a few weeks ago. It’s not a bad boat, but I wanted to try fitting a rudder and pedals to it. I found a rudder (again, on eBay) and made a bracket to attach it to the hull.

The first version was welded and was absolutely awful¹⁰. I got about three miles upstream before the weld broke. The return to the workbench resulted in the bracket above, which is bolted to the end of the boat. There’s a series of cables that are attached to steering pedals and a cord to deploy the rudder into the water. It swooshes down and locks in place by way of me inelegantly tugging on a cord while trying not to capsize.

The white thing that is nestled under the rudder is a stopper that I 3d printed in a flexible rubber filament, and it stops the rudder from smashing into the top of the boat when it’s time to put it away. The spring-loaded mechanism is very enthusiastic.

It works a treat, but given the recent flooding on the River Severn and the near-zero temperatures, the boats are in storage until the spring.

More Musical Things

This week I spent some time playing with a tune I’d had knocking around for some time. It started as a fairly straightforward guitar piece, but as I got frustrated with it and tried different approaches¹¹, it developed into something a bit more exciting. It’s got trumpets, clarinets and keyboards in there. I’m not sure how to describe it other than to say it turned out pretty much exactly like the version that was playing in my head.

Website Things

I’ve been going through the process of overhauling my website. It’s not quite all finished yet, but I’ve got a whole bunch of comics that you can read up there going back to 2011¹².

Until next time.

1. Also trying to avoid thinking about (gestures broadly) everything.

2. There’s a bunch of other stuff I’ve been up to as well, but I have to keep some powder dry, right?

3. My daughter has a unique mind and a somewhat chaotic approach to life.

4. Who is recovering well from surgery and starts chemotherapy soonish.

5. The wearer will wordlessly lunge in your direction, clawed hands outstretched. Horrifying.

6. I know, rock-n-effing-roll.

7. Ignore the fact that the name contains very sheep-centric concepts (Ram, Lamb) she was nine years old at the time.

8. I think I remember listening to an interview with Brian Eno (I’m not going to go back and check, I think I like the version I have mangled with my memory more) where he described self-sabotage as being ‘possessed by the ugly spirit’; the impulse to throw your keys off a bridge into deep water, touch the stove or embark on hours-long toil making masks for no logical reason.

9. As a man with a sedentary inclination, paddling helps keep my shoulders, back and neck mobile and I have fewer problems with upper skeleton when I’m paddling frequently. I’m not sure ‘upper skeleton’ is a correct medical term, but you get the idea.

10. I’m not a good welder AT ALL, but I am persistent. I blame these terrible tools, I’m an excellent workman.

11. That’s always the way, right? Start something and get frustrated with it then find the good version after you’ve tried out all the bad ones?

12. It’s not quite an exhaustive archive, there’s some bits missing, but like I said, it’s a work in progress and I need to rummage around on old hard-drives to pick the peanuts from the turds.